HOWIE AND MOE
| To all of
Howie's friends - Howie passed away on Wednesday, October 23,
2002. For over 14 years, Howie brought us much joy and
happiness. He was a loyal friend to many, the protector of us all
and such a trusting little dog, who started out as a "Ralphie"
at the local pound in 1988.
He will always be remembered with a smile; for his speaking abilities, his craftiness for obtaining treats whether they are still cooking on the stove or unguarded on the table, his bravery by protecting us from the evils of snowmen, his looking after our welfare by seeing we took enough Howie naps and his garbage can removal service. We miss you, Howie. Be at peace. |
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This is the family dog, Howie. He smells like fetid tacos. His butt has been named Moe. Howie and Moe are best friends. They spend a lot of time together.
We try to stop them, but we can't...
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1. I will not consider the bathroom garbage take out. 2. The Mailman and Paperboy are not here to kill us all. 3. I will not stand up when I'm lying under the coffee table. 4. I will not roll my treats behind the fridge. 5. I will shake the rain out of my fur BEFORE entering the house. 6. I will not eat a portion of my food more than once. 7. I will not throw up on the livingroom carpet. 8. I will not snot up the car windows. 9. I will not roll on dead things or things others have left behind. 10. The litter box is not a cookie jar. 11. I will not welcome guests with my snout in their crouch. 12. I will not kiss my human's face AFTER I have licked myself. 13. I will not chew on red lipstick. 14. I will not insist on having the car window rolled down in the winter. 15. I will not belch in people's laps. 16. I will not bark each time I hear a doorbell on the television. 17. I will not steal ANYONE'S underwear. 18. The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad's laps. 19. My head does not belong in the refrigerator. 20. I am not rabid in the company of important guests! |
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I love my master; Thus I perfume myself with This long-rotten squirrel. I lie belly-up In the sunshine, happier than You ever will be. Today I sniffed Many dog butts--I celebrate By kissing your face. I sound the alarm! Paperboy--come to kill us all Look! Look! Look! Look! Look! I sound the alarm! Garbage man--come to kill us all Look! Look! Look! Look! Look! I lift my leg and Whiz on each bush. Hello, Spot Sniff this and weep. How do I love thee? The ways are numberless as My hairs on the rug. My human is home! I am so ecstatic I have Made a puddle. |
I Hate my choke chain. Look, world, they strangle me! Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack! Sleeping here, my chin On your foot--no greater bliss--well, Maybe catching rats. Look in my eyes and Deny it. No human could Love you as much as I do. The cat is not all Bad--she fills the litter box With Tootsie Rolls. Dig under fence--why? Because it's there. Because it's There. Because it's there. I am your best friend, Now, always, and especially When you are eating. You may call them fleas, But they are far more--I call Them a vocation. My owners' mood is Romantic--I lie near their Feet. I fart a big one. |
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Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy. When it's in your best interest -- practice obedience. Let others know when they've invaded your territory. Take naps and stretch before rising. Run, romp, and play daily. Thrive on attention and let people touch you. Avoid biting, when a simple growl will do. On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass. On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a shady tree. When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body. No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout...run right back and make friends. Delight in the simple joy of a long walk. Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough. Be loyal. Never pretend to be something you're not. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it. When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently. |
Here are a few of the highlights from the project.
BE AFRAID...BE VERY AFRAID!!!
Meet the Supreme Ruler of the United States
Woolf Products:
Mmmmm! Liver Biscotti samples for my Canadian and American friendsPurina: My American friends can find information on pets and receive free samples! Petsmart.com: If you own any kind of a pet, stop here for super help and advice! Thinktreats Birthday Club: Don't forget your dog's or cat's birthday!